Advocating for Your Anxious Self with your doctor
It is so hard to realize when I need a change in my medication. Now that my depression and anxiety disorders have been stabilized, problems do not jump out at me. Bad feelings creep up slowly, and I find myself being sucked down without realizing I need a rope. And/or I question my own judgement, accusing myself of being dramatic or overreacting. If I discuss this with my now part time therapist, she will focus on my reactions to daily life. While this is relevant, I know that it is more than just life’s bumps. It is my inability to deal with them. And not because I need counseling. I have been doing fine for months without counseling. But yesterday I questioned myself about needing counseling. Today I called my psychiatrist. I am waiting for his call back.
It takes a bit of suffering before I realize I should call the doctor and get my medication tweaked. When I need tweaking, I am in a state of indecision, depression, and insecurity. How ironic this is. How can you advocate for yourself when you have the symptoms I just listed? And you don’t feel so bad that your brain is screaming GET HELP. Just bad enough to feel uncomfortable. I don’t think I will ever get past this Catch 22 for us anxiety sufferers.
You have to advocate for yourself with your Psychiatrist. Yet when you need tweaking of your medication, it is often because you are having some breakthrough symptoms of your anxiety, and these symptoms can cause indecision and procrastination and self doubt. Do you see where I am going with this?
As I have written, I am off the Paxil CR and on 80 mg of Celexa with 2100 mg of Neurontin. Although I am feeling “all right”, I have been noticing a gradual decline in feelings of well being. (Isn’t it nice that I know what feeling well FEELS LIKE?). I have started to feel less social. When with good friends, I feel in a shell and like on the outside looking in. The last 3 gettogethers with 2 different groups of friends have been difficult for me. Usually I look forward to and COMPLETELY enjoy these occasions; i come home feeling rejuvenated and happy. But the last few times I have not looked forward to these dates and have not enjoyed myself. I feel like I don’t belong.
In addition, I feel unfocused and can’t make decisions and I am somewhat depressed. While I have been happy at my part time job and enjoying my days in general, I now find myself just feeling down most of the time. I am not humming to myself, which is a sign of well being for me.
None of this is very severe. And family complications (which never end) always cause me to say to myself: Well, it’s because he is this and she is that and they are… etc etc. But this is just an excuse to be in denial.
I have a call in to my psychiatrist and I expect he will tweak my medications just enough to notice an improvement so that when I have my visit with him in 2 weeks we will be able to decide how I am doing. I’ll keep you posted. But heads up to advocating for yourself. Don’t hesitate too long to do this.
Tags: paxil withdrawal, paxil, neurontin, klonopin, anti-anxiety medication, generalized anxiety disorder, GAD, CBT, cognitive behavior therapy, worry, psychotherapy, Celexa, paxil CR. psychiatrist, advocate, breakthrough anxiety, tweaking medication
- Posted in : generalized anxiety disorder
- Author : freebird
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