Anticipatory anxiety plus social anxiety
I have a wedding to attend tonight. As I keep repeating, my anxiety is quite successfully under control with my Paxil CR and Neurontin. However, the roots of social anxiety run deep. I have had a bit of nervous anticipation about this affair for the last month. As the day got closer, I began to think in terms of “once the wedding is over”, regarding things like making a doctor’s appointment or completing some chore. There will be a sense of relief on Monday morning. Now i can deal with my life without this hanging over my head causing me anxiety.
This is ridiculous. At my age, to still be concerned about anything other than having a good time at someone else’s wedding is pathetic. I feel annoyed with myself for still seeing flickers of my social anxiety. I know I should not blame myself for something which I now know is inherent in my brain chemistry. It’s just that when you think you have your social anxiety under control and it breaks through the barrier you have worked so hard to develop….well then it is maddening.
The difference of course is that I will not have to take a Xanax, and I will, indeed, have a good time. In the old days of my social anxiety I would barely make it through the evening: I would be sweating profusely, have a stomach ache and be very self conscious. Like it was my own coming out party or something.
I guess anxiety sufferers are like alcoholics, in that you can’t ever let your guard down, right?
Tags: Paxil, Neurontin, social anxiety, anticipatory anxiety, worry, Xanax
- Posted in : generalized anxiety disorder
- Author : freebird
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