The Results of My Visit to the Psychiatrist
Dr. G listened patiently to my “life story”. I talked and I cried. There was alot to tell him. When I was done, he sat back and said, in Psychiatry, we call people like you, who suffer from anxiety and depression, the “walking wounded“. No one knows what is going on inside you as you go about your daily life. To the onlooker, you seem perfectly fine, but all the while you are suffering silently. You don’t have to suffer any longer. I will help you to feel better. This is caused by a chemical imbalance in your brain. Anxiety medication can manage your anxiety disorder.
Oh - my - God. I could not let myself believe what Dr. G was saying. I literally felt dizzy. Was it seriously possible that my life controlled by anxiety was going to change?
Dr. G said since I had suffered from anxiety all my life (check out the post entitled “HOW ANXIETY CONTROLLED MY LIFE”), it was clear that I have a chemical imbalance in my brain. If these feelings of anxiety and depression were new to me, and perhaps connected to a recent devastating event, then he might have prescribed an antidepressant for a period of time to help me get through the post traumatic stress. However, in my case, the worrying and inability to function well was something that I’d suffered from for most of my life. The anxiety was so overwhelming that it caused the depression which made it hard to face each day. The somatic symptoms that I also suffered from for my entire life, such as gastrointestinal problems, were indications that I was not coping in a normal way. He said there are new medications that would change my life.
Finding the right combination of anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication is a delicate matter. It was vital that I trusted the doctor and that he was an expert in psychopharmaceuticals. My healing was not a completely smooth ride. But I was determined to feel better, so I committed myself to this journey.
The first medication Dr. G tried me on was prozac. He said this medication was the most effective on the most people, and it was the logical choice for me. I did not do well with the prozac. For me, it had a negative effect in that it wound me up and made me very nervous. I had a very very difficult few days, but I survived. Onward and upward.
The next try was the one that DID IT. Dr. G started me on paxil. This particular drug was very promising because it targeted not only anxiety & depression, but more specifically, social anxiety. This was a particular symptom of mine, which you can read about in the blog “My Life of Anxiety”. I hope I can describe what happened to me after a few weeks on the paxil. It will be hard to believe, but trust me, please. I am writing this blog to convince other lifetime anxiety sufferers that there is a solution.
I was driving along one day, and SUDDENLY I realized that I FELT GOOD. I was not having a sedated feeling like I did when I had the occasional cocktail or xanax (a tranquilizer that works only as a temporary bandaid and is addictive if you are not careful). I remember saying to myself “Wow, look at that blue sky. What a beautiful day this is. And the music on the radio. It sounds so great.” Doesn’t this sound like a fairytale? Yet it really happened to me. And it can happen to you!
I walked around smiling. Even humming!!!! I would consciously say to myself “I feel so great. Look at all these people. They don’t know how great I feel.” I became a person that is able to experience true joy as well as sadness. The biggest change is the fact that I don’t overreact to everything. I don’t experience every bump in the road as a catastrophe. My stomach doesn’t tighten 10 times a day. I don’t have diarrhea anymore. I can go to lunch with friends without feeling nauseous. My husband and I can go out with other couples without me having to take a xanax. It was as if a black cloud had lifted. Another cliche, I know. But that really describes how I felt.
As time went on, I would occasionally become aware of feeling a twinge of anxiety that was like a flashback. Dr. G called it “breakthrough anxiety” and when it lasted for at least 2 weeks, that was a signal for the doctor to adjust my medication. I would actually notice the difference when the new dose kicked in. I felt calm and level again.
I have been on anti-anxiety and anti-depressant medication for about 12 years now. I changed doctors about 5 years ago. Dr. G was getting ready to retire. My new doctor, Dr. H, switched me from the paxil to paxil CR, which has a timed release. This was because I’d begun to feel drowsy when driving, and he said the regular paxil could be the cause. Eventually he added neurontin, which is used for many different ailments. In my case, Dr. H says it kind of slows my brain down when it wants to work overtime and start me worrying. This cocktail has remained the same for about 3 years and I am doing well.
To find a qualified psychiatrist in your area, start by asking your general health physician for a recommendation. Word of mouth among friends and family is another option. You can also visit the Health Grades Website, where you can find recommendations for good psychiatrists (and other doctors and health services).
Tags: psychiatrist, neurontin, paxil, psychiatrists, paxil CR, breakthrough anxiety, medication, xanax, social anxiety, prozac
- Posted in : generalized anxiety disorder, anxiety symptoms, depression, anti-depressants, , anti-anxiety medication
- Author : freebird
Comments»
This is a great post. I myself take Lexapro and it has proven very benificial. I am really thankfull that people like yourself are able to feel happiness, but that you are willing to actually blog about this so that others might experience that same feeling. Way to go!
[…] Sleeping at the wrong time due to anxiety disorder and excessive worrying. My anxiety is now under control most of the time thanks to my anti-anxiety medications - Paxil CR and Neurontin. (Read the post The Results of my visit to the psychiatrist and Your anxiety might be caused by a chemical imbalance in your brain. ) When the anxiety was free to enjoy itself in my brain, I often had trouble sleeping. When I would try to fall asleep my over active mind refused to stop its thinking. The anxiety disorder which caused me to think too much and worry about every little thing would render me sleepless. […]
I just want to say THANK YOU for posting this in your blog. I am currently trying to work up the courage to speak to my doctor about my anxiety and depression. My husband thinks I am making a fuss and should just “think more positively” - as if I didn’t try! Reading how seriously your psychiatrist took your problems has been a real help to me. I hope to visit the doctor tonight. Thankyou so much
C
Your site is really informative and advocating.I just finished reading some of your blog writings and comments and I wanted to repond to this. As a practicing psychotherapist in Indianapolis, I have found it helpful for people who I am consulting with at the office to “externalize” the problem and have found it helpful to use “Narrative Therapy” as a way to empower people over their problems. Narrative therapy was pioneered by Michael White over the years and there is a growing therapuetic community of people. I was wondering if you or any of your readers had any experience with Narrative Therapy?
Thank you for the comment, Garth. I am not familiar with the term NARRATIVE THERAPY. Is it a formal name for keeping a journal and the like? Or for talk therapy with a therapist? In any case, I am finding that writing this blog is in itself therapeutic. I am also feeling really good letting fellow anxiety sufferers know that they are not alone and that they need not suffer. I am going to look up Narrative Therapy online and learn about it. Thanks again.
Thanks for responding. Narrative therapy is an approach where the therapy is is not “problem saturated” . The therapist consults and does not play the role of the “expert”. The client is the expert of themselves. It is not journaling but that can be a part of the therapy. It is one of the only therapies that I know that does not make the problem of “anxiety” as a part of the person. You may look at the Dulwich Center, Evanston Family therapy or google Michael White. I believe your blog is a good advocate for people, thanks for the experience.
Freebird,
It is always encouraging to hear stories of recovery from other people. I am 25, just finished my university studies, and have suddenly been hit by debilitating anxiety and depression. In retrospect, the symptoms had been building for a long time, but I chose to not take them seriously (a lifelong perfectionist, I simply didn’t want to admit that there was something I couldn’t handle on my own). I have been seeing a good psychologist for about 6 weeks now, and have been taking effexor for about 2 months (it has not been so effective for me). Although still a ways from feeling good, I no longer constantly have to resist the urge to hurt myself.
One question I was wondering if you could help me with:
My psychologist says that I should not try to resist or stop the anxiety (as this will only make it worse), but instead try to let it wash over me. I am having difficulty with this concept. Any light you could shed would be great.
Anyway, thank you for posting you story, it is very helpful.
Hi Carly,
I don’t think that what your psychologist is advising is realistic. If you suffer from anxiety, you can’t just think it away. It doesnt wash over you….it fills you and controls you and paralyzes you, right? Who prescribed the medication? I hope you are seeing a good psychiatrist, because he/she will understand the anxiety and prescribe till you feel better. The talk therapy is good along with the medication. But the medication is what made the difference for me. Years and years of talking about how I felt only helped me deal with each day and each roadblock. But the medication allowed me to finally live life…to enjoy life…..to stop worrying and stressing.
Good luck. Keep me posted.
Thanks for that. I am now going to my Nurse-practitioner and getting prescribed to Paxil. How long til you felt happy? Does it help with the social anxiety?
hi, whoever you are; thanks for writing my hidden life story and writing something i can finally say resonates with me with respect to this lifelong suffering i have experienced with anxiety and depression that grew out of the anxiety; i too was saved by paxil, but i moved on; i’m actually off of meds at the moment and switched to amoryn, but i’m feeling my anxiety and depression coming back; so it’s back to clomipramine for me; i just don’t like the sweats and the weight gain, but i do like the peace; thanks again, steve
Help! I have been anxious my whole life, I can remember worrying as a small child. As if I didn’t have enough to contend with, my partner and I have adopted/fostered 2 children. I love everything about my life, but how can I erase this anxiety so I can feel the way I want to feel. I was once diagnosed as “depressed”, I admit to a low at the time but more anxious than anything. I was prescribed Risperdal and Inderal despite telling my doctor that I already suffered from low blood pressure. Weeks later, I was in for a usual check-up when my blood pressure was 57/35. I stopped taking everything. It’s now 2 years later. I’m not on anything. My dad just retired 2 years ago. He was always what we called “uptight”. When he retired, it worsened. His doctor prescribed Paxil and he took it for a year and has been balanced since. I occassionally take a xanax when I feel an anxious day coming on, but it only takes the edge off. I still want to jump out of my skin. I hate taking it, 90 pills have lasted me over a year. Lately, I feel an anxious moment coming but it mixes with physical feelings such as nausea and palpitations. I almost wonder if I have just dealt with the normal 23 hours a day of anxiety and this abnormal, sickly hour would be a break through anxiety? Can anyone hear me?